Kevin Marshall
July 12, 2023
You will experience strong emotions upon being subjected to harassment or unwanted touching in the workplace. Allow these to subside; then take action.
If you cannot think or speak clearly, reacting out of pain or fear will be unhelpful and costly. Therefore, take action, but do so wisely. Here’s how:
Establish Priorities
Establish the following priorities, in order: The present, the past and the future. Each person is different and each situation is unique. You may find it difficult to move from one step to another, you may have to re-trace your steps - you may be able to skip some steps. Go at your pace. You control the process, and though you may feel powerless, you always have choices.
Step One: The Present
Go to the police immediately if you were assaulted, preceded only by a visit to the hospital if medical treatment is required. Go with a trusted friend or family member and be sure to preserve all your clothes you were wearing.
Then try each of the following options to recover: Write down what comes to your mind. Talk with a trusted friend or family member. Bring your grief and pain to God. Go walking, swimming and/or listen to music. Schedule an appointment with a doctor, counsellor or therapist (get a medical note if necessary). Take sick days or personal days to rest and regroup.
Step Two: The Past
When you are able, systematically record in detail what happened. This is only for you. Write it out on paper, from start to finish. Try to include the 5 W’s: who, what, where, when, why. And how. Don’t worry about spelling mistakes or forgetting some times or places. Write with a stream of consciousness, including how you felt throughout this experience.
Take a break if you find it difficult to continue. Go for a walk outside, listen to music or take your anguish to God. Ask a friend or supportive family member for help.
Then arrange a time to tell your manager (or other person in authority) about the details of what happened and how it impacted you. Record the meeting. Bring someone you trust as your witness/support person, if possible. Take a break if you need to. Ask your manager what will happen next. Be sure to follow up in writing.
Reflect on how your employer treated your concerns. Have actions matched words? Has your employer protected your privacy? Has your employer conducted a fair investigation?
Step Three: The Future
You have bought some time and told someone in authority at work what happened. You’ll need to consider whether or not you wish to keep working for your employer. Consider how your manager responded to your concerns: Were you heard? Was there genuine concern for you? Will you be protected? Ask the tough questions.
If your employer is not adequately supportive, be extra-vigilant to keep yourself safe. Take precautions to avoid being alone with the assailant. Always keep your phone charged up. Discretely record conversations as needed. Confirm arrangements in writing.
Consider other options, such as working from home or taking a medical leave of absence. Discuss such options with your manager, then decide, based on what is best for you.
Monitor your health in all aspects: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Do you see improvement, day by day, or week by week? If not, turn your focus from your job and other concerns to your health. You may need to stop working for your employer. Consider the financial risks, including the possibility that you may not qualify for E.I. benefits.
Reach out to each of those who care for you. In deciding how best to proceed, rely on supportive family, friends, and God, together with your treating medical practitioners.
Prioritize Hope
At all times, in all circumstances, stay hopeful. Look for genuine love from those you trust - and be willing to receive it. The day is coming when you will, once again, be able to provide love in return. Your task is to hasten that day.
